One of Those Days

Last Friday was one of those days. You know the kind where you have to keep laughing so you don't cry. The kind where you wonder "what next?" but are too afraid to actually ask. Where you want to go back to bed and start over...or just stay in bed.

Friday morning the kids and I rush out the door in hopes that we would somehow be able to gain back the two minutes we needed in order to NOT be late for school. We weren't far from our house when it suddenly started raining...or we drove through sprinklers...or a flock of birds just pooped all over our car. Yea, that was it. Bird poop. Sadly, I didn't realize it was not rain, or the sprinklers until after I turned on the windshield wipers.

When I finished gagging, I resumed my task of getting Summer to school on time. Only now I was doing it by peering through streaks of bird poop all over the windshield. I wish I was exaggerating.

In spite of the bird poop, we actually made up our two minutes, but now there was no way I was driving my poopmobile through the car line. So we parked, got out and walked away from the car as quickly as possible.

Once she is in, I came back to check out the damage. Never before have I seen so much poop. With two fingers I attempted to open my door between splats. Needless to say, we headed straight to the car wash.

An experience in and of itself with two kids in the car and a mom who has never done this before...but I will spare you those details. We make it out with a clean car! It has never felt so good! Next stop - grocery store.

I have to admit as I turned off the car and walked around to get my kids out, I was a bit nervous at what this trip would bring. I will tell you, it was not what I expected, and it would be mere second before I would find that out...

Connor jumped out of the car and pulled out his shorts to look down them with wide eyes, "Where did my underwear go?"

I stopped in my tracks and asked, "Connor, do you not have underwear on??" while praying he was playing a trick on me.

"I guess I forgot them." He said much too seriously.

I looked for myself. Yep, he forgot them...somehow. I cringed but put him in the cart anyway. "Let,s just get our groceries quickly and then I will take you home to get underwear, OK?"

"OK" he replies and go we about our shopping trip.

Until I walk in and realize that in my hurry this morning, my shopping list was left on the counter right by my purse...instead of in my purse. Still determined to go home with food, I try to do it by memory.

Three aisles in my phone rings. It is Summer's teacher. I had wrote a note to her that morning concerning a note that came home from school with Summer the night before. Summer had found a note in her cubby that read, "I love you Summer! From your sekrit idmyudr." And then a second one that read, "I love you so much I want to kiss you!" Needless to say, that is where we got concerned.

So there I am explaining the whole situation in the middle of the store, while trying to pull my grocery list from head, push a race car grocery cart and keep two kids seated and under control. In all that, I completely forgot one of them didn't have on underwear. Unfortunately, he didn't forget....

I finally reached the check-out and and the man bagging the groceries (who we see there nearly every visit, I might add) asked Connor how he was doing today. I wasn't really paying attention until I heard Connor's response. "I don't have any underwear on."

I quickly covered his mouth, but it was too late. I felt my face turn red, but oh, it wasn't near over.

The man responded loudly "No, underwear on? Why don't you have any underwear on?"

Connor explained as best he knew how, "I guess they stuck to my pjs when I got dressed this morning and I put them in the laundry."

"Were they clean underwear?" The man asked.

Connor nodded a yes.

"Oh, no, OH NO!" the man exclaimed, his voice grew louder and louder as my face got redder and redder. "You never put clean underwear in the laundry, do you know why?"

Connor wide-eyed, shook his head.

"Because then you end up at the grocery store WITH NO UNDERWEAR ON!"

My gratitude at him declaring yet again to the people all around me that my son didn't have any underwear on was displayed well on my crimson face.

At last the cashier handed me the receipt and I grabbed my cart and pushed it out of the store.

Connor wondered aloud, "Why didn't he come out to the car with us like he always does?"

I muttered more to myself than to him, "He was probably afraid."

"Oh. I shouldn't have told him I didn't have underwear on." He says as if a light bulb just went off.

"Probably not", I said.

But it was done and we were headed home...yet even after all that, the day was just beginning...

Cherish

Today was the much awaited last day of school for Connor. Tomorrow is the big preschool graduation!

I have been counting down the days since we moved and added 20 minutes onto the daily trek. Honestly, I wasn't sure I was going to make it to the end. There were many days, I thought it might be his last. But a day at a time...one car line at a time...we made it to the end!

As excited as I was to see today and pick Connor up from school the last time, there was also that mommy part of me, that just wanted to hold onto it all. I wanted time to slow down for just a minute. For more reasons than my "to do list".

I came home from dropping him off and sat with Chloe. We played babies, looked at cards, fixed her up pretty and "talked" the whole time. My quiet mornings with her will be rare to none these next couple of months. And oh, how I have enjoyed her!

As I left to pick Connor up from school, I smiled as Chloe closed her eyes the moment she hit her car seat. For months, this has been her nap...the hour long ride to his school and back. Memories, though I often dreaded, I don't want to forget.

Waiting in the car line, I can't help but smile again as I see Connor walking towards me. All smiles as well, he jumps in and doesn't waste a second before pouring out the exciting details of his day. *Sigh* I love it! I know the day will come much sooner than I like and his boyish glee will turn to mere smirks and grunts. So again, I tuck this away.

As much as I have disliked the distance to Connor's school and the car line, I have looked forward to our rides home. This was "our" time. Chloe sound asleep, and Connor as talkative as ever, we shared some of the most memorable conversations.

Here are only a few recent ones:

"When is Daddy going to be a grown up and go to work?" Mind you, I am not sure how "grown up" Shawn is, but he does go to work every day. It was only after a few confusing minutes that I realized in Connor's mind - you didn't go to work unless you wore a uniform (ie, fireman, policeman, doctor).

"I pushed Avery today, but it was on purpose...or on accident. Which one is the good one?"

We have also had some good heart-to-hearts on the way home from school. Such as, Jesus coming in to your heart even when it is all bloody in there. Oh, I pray I never forget his wide eyes when I told him Jesus stays even when He does bad things. "Yes, pretty amazing, isn't it, sweet boy."

We have discussed in detail how God cries when we cry. He came to conclusion all on his own that he doesn't hear God crying because he cries so loud. I could only agree with that one.

Ah, so tomorrow a new chapter begins as we head towards another summer vacation.


Please, Lord, help me cherish every minute You have allowed me to borrow these precious children. Help me rejoice in all things!

Nothing Can Separate Us

Have you ever heard something your entire life but than all of a sudden you really hear it? It doesn't just get stuck in your ear but sinks into your brain...or maybe it's your heart.

That happened to me tonight.

I had the privilege of hearing Lisa Whelchel speak at a local church this evening. It was casual and lighthearted. She was fun and transparent. I was captivated by her testimony. So different than mine, and yet...the same.

She told details of how our brain and emotions are tied together. Scientific details that I would mess up if I tried to retell. How God has designed for one to go with the other. It is not just enough to know what we know, but we have to feel what we know to truly believe it.

Before I confuse myself any further...this is what I carried home tonight. This was my slap my hand on my forehead moment. My "How in the world have I not got this yet?" moment.

As if I had never heard it before, Lisa said something like this:

We are told over and over how sin separates us from God - and it does. He is holy and our sin keeps us from having a relationship with Him. But. BUT Jesus. Once we have Jesus in our lives, covering our sin...NOTHING, NOTHING can separate us from Him.

A light bulb went off in my head! That is scripture I have read how many times? "Nothing can separate us." Yet how many times a day do I beat myself up for failing...and not just failing but failing AGAIN. For losing my patience AGAIN. For not spending time in His Word AGAIN. For forgetting to pray AGAIN.

For...for...for...the list could on and on.

And I feel separated. I feel like He distanced Himself because of my sin. I feel I have let Him down. Disappointed Him. I can picture Him throwing His hands up in frustration. Maybe even anger.

But God's holiness (as huge as that is!!) is only half the picture. The other half is grace, clothed in flesh and called Jesus.

Without Him our sin separates us from God. With Jesus, His grace draws us near. It stoops to cover our sin. It wraps arms around us. It heals. It protects. It forgives and it loves. Always completely, never-ending love.

He doesn't want a perfect performance. He just wants me.

Amazing, amazing grace.

Bad Mom, Good Girl

Last night we had some friends over and while they were still here I headed up stairs to put the kids to bed. It was a little later than usual, but not too late.

Summer and Connor always go to bed first. One, because they have school the next day. And two, because through trial and error we have learned that bedtime goes much smoother with Chloe out of the picture. Somehow, Chloe - who loves bedtime herself - also loves to keep her brother and sister awake. There will be giggling, playing, who knows what when Chloe is up there. Without her...silence in a matter of seconds.

So just like any other night, Chloe got ready for bed but headed downstairs with me.

She was sitting on my lap while I visited with our friends. At some point she started squirming to get down and I let her, but didn't pay much attention to what she did next (bad mom). Some time goes by and one of our guests asks, "Where did Chloe go? Did she put herself to bed? Does she always do that?"

I jumped up and looked around - sure enough no Chloe (bad bad mom).

"She doesn't EVER do that...but if someone was going to...it would be her."

I head up stairs to check. My heart melts as I find her in her bed, covered and sleeping soundly. (what a good girl) My heart was sad that she had made the trek upstairs without me.

Maybe it was more sad that she didn't need me.

At the very same time, I couldn't help but smile. What a special girl we have! Her sweetness just keeps amazing me!