When Shawn called me to tell me he would be flying out that same night for Ohio, I wasn’t surprised. Although he hadn’t taken a business trip in over 5 years, I knew it was coming. Not because we had talked about it. Not because anything in his work had changed, but rather I realized God was doing a work in my heart that would require Shawn leaving again to be complete.
About two weeks before that phone call, I sat in Bible study with a group of ladies from church with tears pouring down my face as I listened to Beth Moore teach on Esther chapter 4. From one of her first sentences until the final prayer, I felt as though she was talking directly to me. I knew God was.
“Self-preservation can keep us from our destiny – but we can be set free today.” Oh, how I wanted to be set free that day. Without a doubt some serious rattling of my chains took place that day.
Beth talked about facing your fears. My greatest fear was a secret. My friends knew I struggled with fear, but they didn’t really know why I was so afraid. She talked about letting your mind go there – to your greatest fear. And then ask yourself “then what?” What IF your greatest fear happens – then what? The answer is “then God.” No matter what God will be there to pick you up. He will take care of you.
She told how the most frequent command in the Bible is “Don’t be afraid.” God knew how fearful we would be, so He gently reminds us over and over again. I begin to wonder, how different my life would look without fear.
“Courage is not the absence of fear, but knowing there is something more important than fear… We will never know abundant life if we remain in the stronghold of fear.” I never wanted to settle for the American Dream. My life was called to be “spent” but now I was too afraid to even consider the cost.
Beth told us God offers courage, “Take courage!” He says. And I took it. Not all of it, but enough for me to want more. I remember vividly walking to pick up my kids from school that day feeling lighter. A weight of fear lifted. I knew I would be tested, but for the first time, I wasn’t afraid.
So when Shawn called to tell me he would be leaving that very night for Ohio for a week, I was not surprised or anxious. I was ready. I expected God’s presence to once again fill the house as it did when Shawn was in Honduras – and I couldn’t wait for that.
I dropped Shawn off at the airport and headed home feeling strong and ready to conquer the week. Then the sun went down…
To be continued…
Freedom from Fear - Pt. 1
Showing posts with label Shawn. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Shawn. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Friday, July 9, 2010
Freedom from Fear - Pt. 1
As Shawn prepares to leave for camp with the high school ministry at our church, I can’t help but remember a year ago as he prepared for his first mission trip. God has been so gracious with me, taking me by the hand and gently leading me toward total dependence on Him. I still have a long way to go, but I am more excited about the journey than I have ever been.
When Shawn first mentioned going on the mission trip, I was every bit of encouraging. Having a heart for missions and the world, I was so excited for him to experience it! Unexpectedly, it hit me that my husband, who is a very huge part of my security, would be gone for over a week. It had been 5 years since he had left me for more than a couple nights, and this would be the first time since my trip to China 10 years earlier he would not be a phone call away.
The Sunday before he left, my heart felt like it was breaking already. I kept thinking, “A week from today he won’t be here…and two weeks from today…he still won’t be here.” I fought that thought process the rest of the week and would randomly find myself in tears.
I wanted him to go…but I didn’t want to be left behind. It was a struggle that at one point landed me in my closet, on my knees in tears. I begged God to promise me He would keep Shawn safe. “If You will just promise, You will bring Him home safe… I will give Him to You to take… if You can just tell me for sure I have nothing to worry about… I will believe You.” Silence. Tears continued to fall as I realized God wanted me to trust Him regardless of the outcome. I felt Him whisper to my spirit, “Shawn isn’t yours to give me. He is already mine, to do with as I see fit.” Painful as it was, I opened my hands and surrendered. Determined to walk ahead with purpose, confident the results would be worth it.
My sweet Mother-in-Law came and stayed with me for three nights and four days. I am not sure how I could have done those first days without him – without her. Shawn’s plane was “lost” on the way over and a couple other things would have sent me over the edge if not for her comfort. Dear friends also surrounded me. Giving up time with their families to come spend late nights with me, or even sleep on my couch. God’s presence filled this house like I have never experienced before from the minute Shawn walked out the door to the moment I was in his arms again. It was painful. I was stretched. Living moment by moment, sometimes in great fear sometimes in great faith, I survived. And actually found myself longing to feel God so physically near again once Shawn was home.
So a couple of months later when Shawn called to tell me he would be taking a business trip, I almost welcomed the opportunity. Fully believing God would show up again. But He didn’t…or so I thought.
To be continued…
When Shawn first mentioned going on the mission trip, I was every bit of encouraging. Having a heart for missions and the world, I was so excited for him to experience it! Unexpectedly, it hit me that my husband, who is a very huge part of my security, would be gone for over a week. It had been 5 years since he had left me for more than a couple nights, and this would be the first time since my trip to China 10 years earlier he would not be a phone call away.
The Sunday before he left, my heart felt like it was breaking already. I kept thinking, “A week from today he won’t be here…and two weeks from today…he still won’t be here.” I fought that thought process the rest of the week and would randomly find myself in tears.
I wanted him to go…but I didn’t want to be left behind. It was a struggle that at one point landed me in my closet, on my knees in tears. I begged God to promise me He would keep Shawn safe. “If You will just promise, You will bring Him home safe… I will give Him to You to take… if You can just tell me for sure I have nothing to worry about… I will believe You.” Silence. Tears continued to fall as I realized God wanted me to trust Him regardless of the outcome. I felt Him whisper to my spirit, “Shawn isn’t yours to give me. He is already mine, to do with as I see fit.” Painful as it was, I opened my hands and surrendered. Determined to walk ahead with purpose, confident the results would be worth it.
My sweet Mother-in-Law came and stayed with me for three nights and four days. I am not sure how I could have done those first days without him – without her. Shawn’s plane was “lost” on the way over and a couple other things would have sent me over the edge if not for her comfort. Dear friends also surrounded me. Giving up time with their families to come spend late nights with me, or even sleep on my couch. God’s presence filled this house like I have never experienced before from the minute Shawn walked out the door to the moment I was in his arms again. It was painful. I was stretched. Living moment by moment, sometimes in great fear sometimes in great faith, I survived. And actually found myself longing to feel God so physically near again once Shawn was home.
So a couple of months later when Shawn called to tell me he would be taking a business trip, I almost welcomed the opportunity. Fully believing God would show up again. But He didn’t…or so I thought.
To be continued…
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Do I Dare Try This Again?
I have started this post a few times over the last month, but how in the world do you come back after almost a year of silence? It is not easy that is for sure. I want to make all these promises to do better, but I honestly don’t have enough faith in me to do such a thing. What calls me back is knowing all the sweet moments I shared with my family…moments I was sure I would remember but now have been forgotten. The timely moments where God has changed my course of direction…the little ones, I barely recognized, but now wish I had a better account. Then there are the big moments I have scribbled on a post-it note and still hope to record on here eventually…maybe…hopefully…
Here is a quick update on some of what has been going on the last year…
In June, I was forced to trust God in new ways as Shawn headed out on his first mission trip. God’s presence was tangible in my home and I learned so much… so did he. In October, Shawn headed out for a two week business trip and I expected the same peace that had accompanied me the last time he was gone, but instead this time I felt so alone. God began a work on me while Shawn was gone and still isn’t finished yet. It has been one of the most painful experiences in my walk with Him this far, but I am holding on…knowing it will be worth it.
God has reignited my passion for missions and it was a frustrating few months before I begin to see a reason why. He took me all the way to Houston over a weekend before I finally surrendered and received clear direction of what He wants next. Maybe I will share more of that someday. I am still busy with the women’s ministry at church and organizing the Bible studies. It is passion I don’t think I will ever get out of my system.
Shawn and I will celebrate our 10th anniversary this year and I have been amazed at him more lately than ever. He worked so hard this past year to support our family and he did so very well. These last few months, he “supporting me” has taken a different direction. I can hardly talk about it without tears. I am so thankful he is mine.
Summer is quite the little lady. She is definitely her own person and very Ok with her uniqueness. She rarely picks up a toy to play, but will spend her time on crafts, electronics or reading. She loves helping me in the kitchen. She takes social to a whole new level. Never wanting to be alone, she follows me around doing her own thing but carrying on an almost grown up conversation in the process. Her wisdom and maturity amaze me. Love that girl!
Connor, as active as ever, always keeps me on my toes. He doesn’t sit still for a minute and never has enough time in the day to play. Superheroes or cars occupies most of his time. His toys are his prized possessions, yet he has a huge heart. He will do almost anything for his sisters or me and do it cheerfully. The most amazing prayers come out of his little mouth. God has big plans for that little man, I just know it.
Chloe is near perfect sweetness. That little girl loves anything alive and has the most nurturing spirit I have ever witnessed in a little one. She is my constant companion throughout the day and I enjoy her so much it scares me sometimes. We clean together, run errands together, play together. Don’t even talk about her going to school…EVER!
So maybe I will be back to share more tomorrow…or maybe next week…or next month…but hopefully before next year.
Here is a quick update on some of what has been going on the last year…
In June, I was forced to trust God in new ways as Shawn headed out on his first mission trip. God’s presence was tangible in my home and I learned so much… so did he. In October, Shawn headed out for a two week business trip and I expected the same peace that had accompanied me the last time he was gone, but instead this time I felt so alone. God began a work on me while Shawn was gone and still isn’t finished yet. It has been one of the most painful experiences in my walk with Him this far, but I am holding on…knowing it will be worth it.
God has reignited my passion for missions and it was a frustrating few months before I begin to see a reason why. He took me all the way to Houston over a weekend before I finally surrendered and received clear direction of what He wants next. Maybe I will share more of that someday. I am still busy with the women’s ministry at church and organizing the Bible studies. It is passion I don’t think I will ever get out of my system.
Shawn and I will celebrate our 10th anniversary this year and I have been amazed at him more lately than ever. He worked so hard this past year to support our family and he did so very well. These last few months, he “supporting me” has taken a different direction. I can hardly talk about it without tears. I am so thankful he is mine.
Summer is quite the little lady. She is definitely her own person and very Ok with her uniqueness. She rarely picks up a toy to play, but will spend her time on crafts, electronics or reading. She loves helping me in the kitchen. She takes social to a whole new level. Never wanting to be alone, she follows me around doing her own thing but carrying on an almost grown up conversation in the process. Her wisdom and maturity amaze me. Love that girl!
Connor, as active as ever, always keeps me on my toes. He doesn’t sit still for a minute and never has enough time in the day to play. Superheroes or cars occupies most of his time. His toys are his prized possessions, yet he has a huge heart. He will do almost anything for his sisters or me and do it cheerfully. The most amazing prayers come out of his little mouth. God has big plans for that little man, I just know it.
Chloe is near perfect sweetness. That little girl loves anything alive and has the most nurturing spirit I have ever witnessed in a little one. She is my constant companion throughout the day and I enjoy her so much it scares me sometimes. We clean together, run errands together, play together. Don’t even talk about her going to school…EVER!
So maybe I will be back to share more tomorrow…or maybe next week…or next month…but hopefully before next year.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
My Favorite Christmas Present
By far, my favorite gift this Christmas was from my dear husband. Smart man that he is, listened, oh so closely to something I had been wanting...but probably would not have bought for myself.
I recently have developed a very high respect and love for the work of Kay Arthur. I have done a couple of her studies before, but it had been quite a long while (probably 10 years long while). My memories of her were all wrapped up in the Bible markings she asked of you. Honestly, it would make me cringe. I love my Bible, and I love making it mine, but I didn't care for the rainbow mess her studies would leave behind. Actually, it is very likely I skipped all those parts and consequently ended up not impressed.
Just before Christmas, I finished "Anointed, Transformed, Redeemed: A Study on David" by Priscilla Shirer, Beth Moore and Kay Arthur. Love all those ladies, but walked away deeply touched by Kay Arthur. (Had a very similar experience when I saw them all in Atlanta last summer.) She still had the "circle this, square that" stuff in there and while I still cringed at it - I actually did it this time. WOW. I learned so much!
It left me wanting to do more of her studies, but all the marking...eh! Finally, I came up with what I thought was my brilliant idea: to get a cheap Bible specifically for her studies and then I could mark in it without cringing. (It wasn't until I the had the new Bible and study in my hand that I read in her intro that she recommends getting a Bible just for her studies. So much for my great idea.) :)
So, have you guessed what my sweet husband gave me for Christmas yet? Yep, a new Bible (a pink one at that!), Kay Arthur's study on Acts and a brand new set of colored pens (oh, I do love pens!). And being the Bible study nerd that I am...I was beside myself with delight! I was even more excited about it than my gift cards (my usual favorite gift - because if I am not doing Bible study, I would like to be shopping!)
So on Christmas Eve, after we opened our presents (yes, we open presents on Christmas Eve...) I sat down to devour my new Bible study...and devour I did. It was a thirteen week study and I just finished it last night. It was SO good! I would start reading after the kids were in bed and it would be 1am and I would scarcely notice. It was always a struggle to put down, no matter how late it was.
And you know what the coolest thing about all this is? It wasn't the Bible study that I couldn't put down - that is just an itty bitty book of directions and questions. It was the Word of God that captivated me so! I fell in love with Paul. I cried when he went to Jerusalem - knowing what awaited him there. I was completely moved by the Holy Spirit and blown away at knowing that same Spirit fills me! I am not living near up to the power God can enable me too.
I shared with my husband, early on how this study had really brought out how lazy I am with Bible study. I am used to sitting on the couch, reading my Bible, and then looking to Beth Moore or another author to fill me in on what it was saying. If you have done a Kay Arthur study, you know, she doesn't much do that. She would ask questions and many times I wouldn't know the answer. I would wait for her to explain, but she didn't. However, as I stayed in the Word, I could see God answering my questions. Sometimes I did a little more research on my own (actually getting up off the couch and looking things up on the computer). Many times the answers would bring more questions...some that are still unanswered. But one thing holds true: I have been greatly affected by the power of this book.
So I am sharing all this basically to say, I have a new found love for the book of Acts. And I don't want to get over it. I don't want to forget what God taught me on my short stay there. I planned on sharing more of what I learned in this post and less about why I did the study in the first place...but I will just let it be what it is and come back with a post devoted entirely to the amazing book of Acts! I bet you can't wait! ;)
I recently have developed a very high respect and love for the work of Kay Arthur. I have done a couple of her studies before, but it had been quite a long while (probably 10 years long while). My memories of her were all wrapped up in the Bible markings she asked of you. Honestly, it would make me cringe. I love my Bible, and I love making it mine, but I didn't care for the rainbow mess her studies would leave behind. Actually, it is very likely I skipped all those parts and consequently ended up not impressed.
Just before Christmas, I finished "Anointed, Transformed, Redeemed: A Study on David" by Priscilla Shirer, Beth Moore and Kay Arthur. Love all those ladies, but walked away deeply touched by Kay Arthur. (Had a very similar experience when I saw them all in Atlanta last summer.) She still had the "circle this, square that" stuff in there and while I still cringed at it - I actually did it this time. WOW. I learned so much!
It left me wanting to do more of her studies, but all the marking...eh! Finally, I came up with what I thought was my brilliant idea: to get a cheap Bible specifically for her studies and then I could mark in it without cringing. (It wasn't until I the had the new Bible and study in my hand that I read in her intro that she recommends getting a Bible just for her studies. So much for my great idea.) :)
So, have you guessed what my sweet husband gave me for Christmas yet? Yep, a new Bible (a pink one at that!), Kay Arthur's study on Acts and a brand new set of colored pens (oh, I do love pens!). And being the Bible study nerd that I am...I was beside myself with delight! I was even more excited about it than my gift cards (my usual favorite gift - because if I am not doing Bible study, I would like to be shopping!)
So on Christmas Eve, after we opened our presents (yes, we open presents on Christmas Eve...) I sat down to devour my new Bible study...and devour I did. It was a thirteen week study and I just finished it last night. It was SO good! I would start reading after the kids were in bed and it would be 1am and I would scarcely notice. It was always a struggle to put down, no matter how late it was.
And you know what the coolest thing about all this is? It wasn't the Bible study that I couldn't put down - that is just an itty bitty book of directions and questions. It was the Word of God that captivated me so! I fell in love with Paul. I cried when he went to Jerusalem - knowing what awaited him there. I was completely moved by the Holy Spirit and blown away at knowing that same Spirit fills me! I am not living near up to the power God can enable me too.
I shared with my husband, early on how this study had really brought out how lazy I am with Bible study. I am used to sitting on the couch, reading my Bible, and then looking to Beth Moore or another author to fill me in on what it was saying. If you have done a Kay Arthur study, you know, she doesn't much do that. She would ask questions and many times I wouldn't know the answer. I would wait for her to explain, but she didn't. However, as I stayed in the Word, I could see God answering my questions. Sometimes I did a little more research on my own (actually getting up off the couch and looking things up on the computer). Many times the answers would bring more questions...some that are still unanswered. But one thing holds true: I have been greatly affected by the power of this book.
So I am sharing all this basically to say, I have a new found love for the book of Acts. And I don't want to get over it. I don't want to forget what God taught me on my short stay there. I planned on sharing more of what I learned in this post and less about why I did the study in the first place...but I will just let it be what it is and come back with a post devoted entirely to the amazing book of Acts! I bet you can't wait! ;)
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Happy Anniversary!
Eight years! I remember us talking about our eighth year of marriage during our first year of marriage. It would be the year we would both turn thirty. We had big plans and many dreams... Life has turned out differently, but one thing has remained the same. We still have each other. I am thankful...and truly blessed.
OK, I really wanted to post some wedding pictures, but we are no longer own a scanner. Scanners hold bad memories...so thus, our house has been purged of them.
Our first Christmas together - we were engaged and I was beside myself in anticipation of what my soon-to-be-husband would give his soon-to-be-bride for Christmas. Can you guess it? It was my first clue that my romantic dreams were about to take a very nerdy turn. My dearly beloved bought me a scanner. A scanner. Granted it was the cutest scanner ever,(He did know me that much. If I am going to own something electronic, it better be the cutest one), but...still...a scanner.
That was the first and last scanner that has ever been in our home...and I can't say it stayed very long.
So, having said that...I share with you blurry pictures of our wedding pictures (taken by the cutest camera ever)...
I love you, Baby! And it really is true...I love you WAY more today than I did on that day. I would have never thought that possible.
OK, I really wanted to post some wedding pictures, but we are no longer own a scanner. Scanners hold bad memories...so thus, our house has been purged of them.
Our first Christmas together - we were engaged and I was beside myself in anticipation of what my soon-to-be-husband would give his soon-to-be-bride for Christmas. Can you guess it? It was my first clue that my romantic dreams were about to take a very nerdy turn. My dearly beloved bought me a scanner. A scanner. Granted it was the cutest scanner ever,(He did know me that much. If I am going to own something electronic, it better be the cutest one), but...still...a scanner.
That was the first and last scanner that has ever been in our home...and I can't say it stayed very long.
So, having said that...I share with you blurry pictures of our wedding pictures (taken by the cutest camera ever)...
I love you, Baby! And it really is true...I love you WAY more today than I did on that day. I would have never thought that possible.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Happy Father's Day!!
First things first, I am so excited! I found the perfect T-shirt for Shawn and the kids gave it to him for Father's Day! Not only is it perfect because he is very "adorkable" but it has his picture on it!! He was proud enough to wear it to church this morning despite the Hawaiian shirt contest they had going on for the dads. He was so cute in it and received many comments about how his shirt looked just like him!
We have had a great (however ordinary) day celebrating Shawn! After church we let him pick where to eat - anywhere he wanted. I was fully prepared to be eating wings, but he chose our weekly after-church hangout. We ran into friends and were able to eat together (totally not planned) and ended lunch with a run through pouring down rain (totally not planned). Not a big deal, but so fun. We came home and celebrated some more by all participating in Shawn's favorite thing - relaxing!!
As I type, he walked by me and called out to the kids, "Who wants to wrestle?!" He is currently being attacked by all three and there is screaming, giggling and banging coming from the playroom. I prefer not to know anymore than that. Our dinner plans are the same as any Sunday evening - popcorn and America's Funniest Videos. It has been a pretty typical Sunday but sometimes those are the most enjoyable.
As my Daddy always says, "You don't have to be a father to have a Happy Father's Day!" So hope ALL of you (father or not) had a great day as well!
We have had a great (however ordinary) day celebrating Shawn! After church we let him pick where to eat - anywhere he wanted. I was fully prepared to be eating wings, but he chose our weekly after-church hangout. We ran into friends and were able to eat together (totally not planned) and ended lunch with a run through pouring down rain (totally not planned). Not a big deal, but so fun. We came home and celebrated some more by all participating in Shawn's favorite thing - relaxing!!
As I type, he walked by me and called out to the kids, "Who wants to wrestle?!" He is currently being attacked by all three and there is screaming, giggling and banging coming from the playroom. I prefer not to know anymore than that. Our dinner plans are the same as any Sunday evening - popcorn and America's Funniest Videos. It has been a pretty typical Sunday but sometimes those are the most enjoyable.
As my Daddy always says, "You don't have to be a father to have a Happy Father's Day!" So hope ALL of you (father or not) had a great day as well!
Monday, May 19, 2008
Friday, May 2, 2008
Bloom
Shawn and a team of friends have been working really hard creating a video (a really good video, I must say!) to submit to an independent film festival. There will be 15 winners picked and awarded money (and a trip to Nashville!) to make another video.
And guess what?!?! You can help them win!! You can view the video here and then vote. The voting will be one of the ways used to determine a winner. After viewing, click on the link below the video to vote on it. This will take you to a page to register and after that you must go back to the original link where you watched the video (this one) and give it a bunch of stars!!
Seriously, leave your honest feedback. I know all the guys will appreciate it!
Thank you for your help!!
And guess what?!?! You can help them win!! You can view the video here and then vote. The voting will be one of the ways used to determine a winner. After viewing, click on the link below the video to vote on it. This will take you to a page to register and after that you must go back to the original link where you watched the video (this one) and give it a bunch of stars!!
Seriously, leave your honest feedback. I know all the guys will appreciate it!
Thank you for your help!!
Monday, November 12, 2007
Little Stinker
Tonight, I had Chloe propped between Shawn and I on the couch while we were watching TV. I leaned my head over and rested it on his shoulder. Chloe turns around and looks at me and fusses and squirms so I lifted my head thinking I was somehow making her uncomfortable. She then, contented, leans her head on Shawn! My mouth dropped open! I put my head back...same thing again. I know she is a Daddy's girl, but really!
Monday, October 22, 2007
He's Home!!!!
Shawn finally walked through the door at 6am this morning!!! I had been awake since 5:30 praying for him. I ran to the door when I heard the lock. He came in smiling. He said, "I don't know what you are doing up, but I am going to bed." :) He did appease me long enough to answer some of my questions before falling asleep. So I will attempt to answer some of yours...
He was not "held there". He stayed because the systems needed to be up by 7am this morning and they decided together to stay until it was done. His disposition is amazing to me. He is not upset in the least, just doing what needed to be done. Never once, through his emails or our one phone conversation did he complain. He kept saying, "I really am OK...I can't believe how good I am doing." I am praying he was a light in the office during this ordeal and that God was glorified. For after all, "Whatever you do, do enthusiastically, as something done for the Lord and not for men..." (Colossians3:23).
This morning, looking back, I am just really thankful. Thankful for the experience even. Not that it wasn't hard. The lack of the communication was very frustrating to me, and several times I hit my knees in near panic praying for Shawn to contact me. His cell phone dead, his office phone busy so I could only email. Sometimes 6 hours would go by before he would have a minute to email me back. My mind would wander to horrible things and all I could do was pray...why i was awake praying at 5:30 this morning. And my answer came as Shawn walked through the door! My life verse this weekend, "Don't worry about anything, but in everything through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be known to God." (Philippians 4:6) Next to that verse in my Bible I have written, "God is all about prayer because He is all about relationships. Prayer not only builds our relationship with God, it builds our faith." And I can see both happening...so for this I am thankful.
I am also thankful that it was just a weekend. They have never seen a situation like this before and likely to not see it again. It is over. He is here sleeping. Not overseas....not without a job...not coming home. He is here. How can I not be thankful?
Thanks to those who prayed! It was such a great lesson, yet again, that God gives you whatever you need to get through that day...no more, no less. I had just enough strength to make it here at home with the kids and Shawn had just what he needed to do what was required of him. God is amazingly faithful!
He was not "held there". He stayed because the systems needed to be up by 7am this morning and they decided together to stay until it was done. His disposition is amazing to me. He is not upset in the least, just doing what needed to be done. Never once, through his emails or our one phone conversation did he complain. He kept saying, "I really am OK...I can't believe how good I am doing." I am praying he was a light in the office during this ordeal and that God was glorified. For after all, "Whatever you do, do enthusiastically, as something done for the Lord and not for men..." (Colossians3:23).
This morning, looking back, I am just really thankful. Thankful for the experience even. Not that it wasn't hard. The lack of the communication was very frustrating to me, and several times I hit my knees in near panic praying for Shawn to contact me. His cell phone dead, his office phone busy so I could only email. Sometimes 6 hours would go by before he would have a minute to email me back. My mind would wander to horrible things and all I could do was pray...why i was awake praying at 5:30 this morning. And my answer came as Shawn walked through the door! My life verse this weekend, "Don't worry about anything, but in everything through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be known to God." (Philippians 4:6) Next to that verse in my Bible I have written, "God is all about prayer because He is all about relationships. Prayer not only builds our relationship with God, it builds our faith." And I can see both happening...so for this I am thankful.
I am also thankful that it was just a weekend. They have never seen a situation like this before and likely to not see it again. It is over. He is here sleeping. Not overseas....not without a job...not coming home. He is here. How can I not be thankful?
Thanks to those who prayed! It was such a great lesson, yet again, that God gives you whatever you need to get through that day...no more, no less. I had just enough strength to make it here at home with the kids and Shawn had just what he needed to do what was required of him. God is amazingly faithful!
Sunday, October 21, 2007
About 12 Hours Later...
And my dear husband is still working. Poor guy has been there over 24 hours. My communication with him is limited to email. He is getting slower and slower at responding...so I keep wondering has he fallen asleep? But then he answers so I know he is still there and still awake, just busy.
I will update when he is home...if you read this before then, please join me in praying for him. Pray that he can stay alert enough to function and resolve the issue. That it would be resolved soon so he can come home and get some sleep. I am sure he will have to back tomorrow to tie up loose ends (hopefully after that he will be able to get some comp time....he deserves it!)
Thank you!
I will update when he is home...if you read this before then, please join me in praying for him. Pray that he can stay alert enough to function and resolve the issue. That it would be resolved soon so he can come home and get some sleep. I am sure he will have to back tomorrow to tie up loose ends (hopefully after that he will be able to get some comp time....he deserves it!)
Thank you!
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Chatty
The day is almost over. It has been a long day. Not a bad day, just a long day. Shawn left for work a little after 7 this morning and he knew he wouldn't be back before midnight. Now it is looking like it will be well after midnight, but with each passing hour...that is one less, right?
The kids and I spent the day at Grandma and Grandpa's. They are now sound asleep after the big day and I, for some reason, am feeling a bit lonely. I miss Shawn...as silly as they may sound because he was just here this morning. I wish he was here now, not just for me, but for him. I know he must so tired. I have only talked to him via email today and he sounds good. He handles it all so well. I couldn't. Why I am here, I guess and he is there. I am so thankful for my husband who works so hard to support his family of 5...on one income. No small feat, I tell you!
I am also thankful he got done work on time yesterday and we were able to follow through with our family plans. We all had been looking forward to it all week and it was much needed! We took the kids to the zoo for "Spooktacular". It really isn't spooky at all...and we knew that or we would have never went. It was actually super cute. They had people dressed up throughout the park as zoo animals - nothing scary about it. (Other than the chicken costume...my brave son was scared of the chicken costume. Don't ask.) They had bouncy houses and treat stations all over the place (which had WAY better things than just candy - like free Frostie coupons!) The kids got extra wear out of the their costumes and had so much fun!
I would post pictures...but after getting batteries and all, I forgot the camera! I was so upset with myself. I love posting pictures on here...it is all about the blog, you know. But now, you will just have to wait until Halloween to see what characters my kiddos are this year!
Thanks for keeping me company! I am off to find a good book!
The kids and I spent the day at Grandma and Grandpa's. They are now sound asleep after the big day and I, for some reason, am feeling a bit lonely. I miss Shawn...as silly as they may sound because he was just here this morning. I wish he was here now, not just for me, but for him. I know he must so tired. I have only talked to him via email today and he sounds good. He handles it all so well. I couldn't. Why I am here, I guess and he is there. I am so thankful for my husband who works so hard to support his family of 5...on one income. No small feat, I tell you!
I am also thankful he got done work on time yesterday and we were able to follow through with our family plans. We all had been looking forward to it all week and it was much needed! We took the kids to the zoo for "Spooktacular". It really isn't spooky at all...and we knew that or we would have never went. It was actually super cute. They had people dressed up throughout the park as zoo animals - nothing scary about it. (Other than the chicken costume...my brave son was scared of the chicken costume. Don't ask.) They had bouncy houses and treat stations all over the place (which had WAY better things than just candy - like free Frostie coupons!) The kids got extra wear out of the their costumes and had so much fun!
I would post pictures...but after getting batteries and all, I forgot the camera! I was so upset with myself. I love posting pictures on here...it is all about the blog, you know. But now, you will just have to wait until Halloween to see what characters my kiddos are this year!
Thanks for keeping me company! I am off to find a good book!
Friday, October 19, 2007
A Real Post
Hi everyone!
Just thought I would do a "real" blog post and give you a little update on us...
Shawn's work schedule this week has had him out the door before the kids are up and home way after the kids are in bed. It all makes me have a fresh appreciation for single parents. I am making it through because I know we just have the weekend yet to get by "without" him and then things will be back to normal. It would take more strength than I have in me to make it like this all the time.
His late night hours have left me with some quiet evening hours to write out some of my thoughts on the tabernacle. There is so much more though! I warned you I was obsessed! :) Even when I am not studying the tabernacle, all Scripture keeps relating back to it in my head. It is all so interwoven. So huge. So many incomprehensible details. I keep finding more and yet know I am no where near close to discovering the meaning and purpose behind all of it. The Word of God truly is amazing!
So...do you like my new blog look? I have been contemplating changing it for awhile now... Granted, I can't pull away from the pink. You would think my girls' room and clothes and toys would be enough to satisfy my pink needs, but evidently not! :) I am a girly girl, what can I say?
We have some fun family time planned tonight...provided Shawn isn't working late. We are hoping, anyway! The kids really need some Daddy time and it will make for some cute pictures if it happens... :) Which reminds me, I need to get camera batteries!
Talk to y'all later!
Just thought I would do a "real" blog post and give you a little update on us...
Shawn's work schedule this week has had him out the door before the kids are up and home way after the kids are in bed. It all makes me have a fresh appreciation for single parents. I am making it through because I know we just have the weekend yet to get by "without" him and then things will be back to normal. It would take more strength than I have in me to make it like this all the time.
His late night hours have left me with some quiet evening hours to write out some of my thoughts on the tabernacle. There is so much more though! I warned you I was obsessed! :) Even when I am not studying the tabernacle, all Scripture keeps relating back to it in my head. It is all so interwoven. So huge. So many incomprehensible details. I keep finding more and yet know I am no where near close to discovering the meaning and purpose behind all of it. The Word of God truly is amazing!
So...do you like my new blog look? I have been contemplating changing it for awhile now... Granted, I can't pull away from the pink. You would think my girls' room and clothes and toys would be enough to satisfy my pink needs, but evidently not! :) I am a girly girl, what can I say?
We have some fun family time planned tonight...provided Shawn isn't working late. We are hoping, anyway! The kids really need some Daddy time and it will make for some cute pictures if it happens... :) Which reminds me, I need to get camera batteries!
Talk to y'all later!
Saturday, October 6, 2007
I mean what do you say about this, really?
Monday, September 17, 2007
Daddy's Girl # 2
We have recently discovered Chloe's love for football. I don't know if it is all the colors or the movement that attracts her but she is glued to the TV whenever it is on. Last weekend, while eating at Moe's, they had a football game on and she would hardly eat (which is saying alot for Chloe!) because she couldn't take her eyes off the game. This was Daddy and Chloe yesterday as they enjoyed some football together... 
She stays mesmerized like that until a commercial and then she continues to play until the game comes on again. For mommy, she is way more fun to watch than the football. And Daddy and her have already found something they like to do together!
She stays mesmerized like that until a commercial and then she continues to play until the game comes on again. For mommy, she is way more fun to watch than the football. And Daddy and her have already found something they like to do together!
Sunday, September 9, 2007
29 Candles
Mom and Dad came over yesterday and we had dinner together to celebrate Shawn's birthday. Mom knows Shawn's love of cake (or lack there of) so she brought him a homemade pumpkin pie complete with 29 candles. The kids were amazed at all the candles and marveled at how "big" Daddy was. To top it all off, Mom stayed and put the kids to bed while Shawn and I went out with friends from church. We arrived home later that night to three sleeping kids...what more can you ask for?!
Friday, September 7, 2007
Happy Birthday to You...
Happy Birthday to you!!
Happy Birthday, dear Daddy!
Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday to you!
You live in a zoo...(in case you were unaware)
You look like a monkey... 
And smell like one too...(or maybe that is Chloe's diaper?)
Love you, Daddy
Your three little monkeys
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Daddy's Girl
Oh, the drama we had on Monday when Summer had to stay home from school due to an upset stomach. Both Mommy and Summer were ready for school the next day! I didn't want to make staying home fun, so she spent most of the day on the couch. At one point, this is how I found her entertaining herself...
I have learned to not even ask. :) Daddy, on the other hand, completely understands!
I have learned to not even ask. :) Daddy, on the other hand, completely understands!
Monday, August 20, 2007
1st Day of School
After counting down the days all month, the day finally arrived for Summer! She has been nothing but excited about starting kindergarten. I kept watching for nerves as the day approached, but even this morning, she was just bubbling with excitement. Mommy got a little teary-eyed as I watched her and Daddy drive off this morning, but Summer's smile never dimmed. I anxiously awaited Daddy's phone call to see how she did once she was at school. I guess, she did great...Daddy, not so good. He said the only things she didn't like was how long it took to get there and how long it took Daddy to leave. He had to be reassured by her a couple times that she really was going to be okay.I watched the clock all afternoon, worried that time would slip by and I would be late picking her up. I left 30 minutes early and made it through the crazy pick-up traffic 50 minutes later. She cried half way home...not because her teacher was mean...not because she didn't make any new friends...not because she missed me, or was even happy to see me. She cried because she didn't get to ride a school bus home. Once we got passed that drama, I actually got to hear some details about her day. She loved it, made lots of new friends, met up with some old ones, had a "fabulous" (her new word) time and can't wait to go back tomorrow!
She has grown up over night, it seems. She came home and did all her chores without any complaints. Took her shower and headed to bed, easier than EVER! This is what she looks like right now...
(Yes, my 5 year old has an IPOD. It was her birthday present from her techy Daddy. They are two peas in a pod - no pun intended. :) ) She is sound alseep, resting all up for day 2 tomorrow!
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