I began my day today as I ended my last...in the bathroom. Sorry if that is TMI, but our after-church lunch has left me two days of...unpleasantness, to spare you the details. One time when Shawn called to check on me yesterday he had these encouraging words for me, "You sound like you are going to die." I replied, "I feel like I am too." Of course, I was being dramatic, a trait I have learned from my 5 year-old (or is it the other way around?). But nevertheless, it is a day I would prefer to not ever relive.
So...as my day started out once again in the bathroom, all my hopes of being better today went down the toilet (pun intended). I cried as Shawn left for the day. I know he felt horrible leaving me but today of all days he HAD to be at work...and probably wouldn't be home until the kids were bed. How was I going to make it? I prayed for help - literal help. I prayed not for strength to make it through the day but someone to come help me...I needed physical help. Even if I could stop throwing up, I was so weak and my stomach felt as though it had been used as a punching bag.
So what in the world does all this have to do with mercy?
The phone rang...it was my Mom. I had already talked to her once this morning...or grunted at her anyway. Enough to convey I was sick again, but she was unable to help because they had a doctor appointment today. But her words this time brought a flood of relief. She had canceled the doctor appointment and my sweet Daddy was coming to get Connor for the day. It was nearly time for Chloe's nap and that meant I could go back to bed for a couple of hours. "Oh, thank you, Jesus!"
His mercy is new every morning. He gave me what I needed to get through yesterday on my own and He gave me who I needed to get through today. I am so grateful! And happy to report feeling much better.
I am very aware how minor the "manna" or the mercy I received today compares to the mercy so many need to get through their days. A husband who isn't coming home tonight, a daughter who might not live to see tomorrow... Trials my heart can not fathom facing. Trials I am afraid my heart couldn't bear. Trials that just plain scare me.
But beyond my understanding lies a Truth my heart clings to more than to life...His mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:19-24). Just as He was faithful to give manna to the Israelites every morning they were in the wilderness, He is faithful to give me (and all who will gather it) His mercy a new. And just as the manna was measured and given according to need - never a surplus and never a shortage (Exodus 16:18) so is His mercy.
Dear God, I pray for those hurting...the ones I am aware of and the ones I am not. I am far from understanding or being able to make sense of any of the pain. Because it just doesn't make sense! I have questions. I just don't understand. But I know You are good. All that I don't know I lay aside and cling to what I do. Help me trust in Your faithfulness, trust that You will come through. Help me surrender to Your will...whatever that may be. Take away my fear and give me faith. Faith that just as You give Your mercy new every morning, You also give the strength to gather it. Thank you for the stories of those that have been there. For their testimony that amid all the pain, You are hope.
No comments:
Post a Comment