Humbled...

I climbed to high and lofty places, searching for God. Surly, the higher I went the nearer I would be. My heart’s desire was to walk where He walked and to love what He loved. I wanted the knowledge and wisdom of one who walked with Him. I clung to His words, “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you.” (Jeremiah 29-13-14) He had made the promise and I believed Him.

However, it was as if something was keeping me from getting closer to Him. I clung to my well worn Road Map, bowed my head and begged of the High and Exalted One to let me find Him so I could dwell in His presence day and night. I pleaded with my Lord to remove whatever it was that was keeping me from seeing Him.

“Lift your eyes and look to the heavens: Who created all these?” (Isaiah 40:26)

I fell to my knees at the sound of His voice, but out of obedience my eyes took in the sight before me. A blanket of stars was laid out…too numerous to number. The same voice that commanded my attention moments earlier now called each star out by name. They went on and on stretching way beyond what I could comprehend. At what looked like the hem of the blanket…further than I ever imagined my eyes would see…I saw a hand, massive, mighty hand holding it all in place. To say that I am dust gives me too much credit. How great, how powerful, how awesome and how amazing is the God I serve! “The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands.” (Pslam 19:1) My face hit the ground and the weight of His mighty hand was heavy upon me. Everything that was once so clear now became dim. All that I held important, including myself, began to fade into the background of the Almighty. The words I chose were not mine, “Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions…let the bones you have crushed rejoice.” (Psalm 51:1,8)

The weight lifted but the darkness stayed. But even in the darkness, God was there. He began to sing over me…softly, gently. His words soothed my soul.

“Heaven is my throne and the earth is my footstool. Where is the house you will build for me? Where will my resting place be? Has not my hand made all these things, and so they came into being? This is the one I esteem; he who is humble and contrite in spirit, and trembles at my word.” (Isaiah 66:1-2)

“Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, and come with me.” (Song of Songs 2:10)

I began to crawl towards the sound of His voice…but I could take no credit for moving. I couldn’t even lift my own head. I kept moving because of His urging. I kept going because of His strength. I was faithless but He was faithful. Never once did He leave me. Again He spoke.

“I am gentle and humble in heart (Matthew 11:29) I live in a high and holy place but also with him who is contrite and lowly in spirit” (Isaiah 57:15)

He lifted my head and I scanned the horizon. The mountain I had been on was far in the distance. It stood tall and unwavering. I looked around and found myself low in a valley – a beautiful valley, but a valley none the less. I had tried to reach to the heavens to find God there. I had been confident in how high I had climbed. I felt secure in my long strides. “Those who walk in pride he is able to humble.” (Daniel 4:37) In my nothingness, I found God, whose name is Holy. Just like He had promised, I found Him, but not where I had been looking. He was dwelling, not where He deserved to be, but where He chose to be. He was living with the least of these, walking with the lame, touching the untouchable, loving the unloved…loving me. To be like Him, I must do the same.


Humble King
By Brenton Brown

Oh kneel me down again
Here at Your feet
Show me how much You love – humility
Oh Sprit be the star – that leads me to
The humble heart of love – I see in You

You are the God of the broken
The friend of the weak
You wash the feet of the weary
Embrace the ones in need
I want to be like You, Jesus
To have this heart in me
You are the God of the humble
You are the humble King