I Love Tuesdays! (And It's Not About Me)

A weird title for a post written late Thursday night/early Friday morning, I know. I would have written it Tuesday had I had the mental energy.

Every Tuesday evening I go to Panera and spend the evening hours pouring over Bible Study with my dear friend Tara. I treasure this time more than words. Not only is it a slow pace and quiet atmosphere after a busy day; it is valued time with a precious friend. The seeds of our friendship were planted at Bible Study. Two years later the roots grow deep in the soil of accountability, honesty, love and understanding. They have been watered by tears; fed by laughter, countless prayers and Starbucks. :) “Friends love through all kinds of weather….” (Proverbs 17:17 The Message). Her friendship to me is invaluable and I pray it lasts a lifetime!

This Tuesday we just finished the book “Its Not About Me” by Max Lucado. It was perfect timing…God’s timing. We started it not long after I had Chloe and she had her baby girl. I can’t speak for Tara, but I was all wrapped up in my little world. My hormones were in full swing and many sleepless nights were spent in tears. I would look over at the book sitting on my stand. I hadn’t opened it yet but just the title made me scream under my breath (so not to wake the rest of the house), “Yes, God, it is all about me right now! I need sleep…I need help…I need…” And God heard. He knew what I needed more than I knew and so Tara and I started this study. It shook me, it was hard to swallow at times, it knocked me to my knees but it was good. So many things learned; so many things I don’t want to forget. I started writing them down and then thought I would share them with you.

I learned how deep selfishness runs in our culture…how deep it runs in *gulp* me. Leaving no one untouched, selfishness runs through our veins, urging us to make a name for ourselves…look out for ourselves. It promises happiness but only leaves chaos.

I learned that I needed a change. I needed a glimpse of God’s glory. Max said, “When our deepest desire is not the things of God, or a favor from God, but God himself, we cross a threshold.” I want to cross that threshold! My own prayers convicted me. Even when I was praying to God…it was still all about me.

I learned that my daily life needed to reflect God’s glory, even in the little things. Anything can give Him glory, if I mean for it too. Nothing matters but what is done for Him and it is only through Him that my life has meaning. Moreover, if I succeed at anything, it is only because of Him.

I discovered that God just keeps getting bigger to me. Just when I think I have Him figured out, He blows my mind with something more and then He brings me to my knees with His amazing love that seeks after me, even me.

I was reminded, at just the right time, that God never changes. In the midst of changing churches, moving friends and adjusting to a new addition, Max reminded me that the Lord is the same, yesterday today and forever.

I learned that the world doesn’t need more of me, it needs more of God. I need to get out of the way. People need to see Him – His love, His grace – not me. My goal needs to be that people know His name, not mine.

And finally, this book ended by giving me a completely new outlook (a life changing outlook) on the third commandment. But I am going to bed :)…if you want to find out what that is; you will have to check out the book! It will be well worth the read, I promise!